Wild at Heart

Strange feelings… dating… love… etc.

It’s so weird. The past 2-3 months I haven’t been interested in dating, even the teeniest little bit. Then yesterday and today come around, and for some reason I feel like dating. Part of my reasoning not to date earlier is fixed, so maybe that’s it.

This brought me to think more about the “normal” habits of dating I see. I think very few people truly give themselves enough time after a failed relationship to re-group, and then venture out later. I know that really processing through everything takes time. You need to go over things, learn from the good and bad, and be ready to use that newfound wisdom in the future. 

Secondly I realized that for me, I couldn’t truly open up my heart to another person until I could truthfully say that I wanted good things for my ex, when I could defend him to people who may talk about him a poor light (etc.) And to be honest with you guys it took me a long time. (or at least a long time in my opinion)

But about 2 months ago I started praying for good things to come out of his life, and for God to mold him into the man he needs to be for God’s glory. And God finally changed my attitude. I had forgiven him, but I think it took more than just letting him off the hook for me. Anyways, after months of praying this way, not only did I forgive him, but God healed my heart. See it’s not just about forgiving the person, but also working actively to let God heal you from the pain.

Which brings me back to the beginning. My heart is finally ready in every way that it needs to be. God has me on the right track of life (college, career, goals) and now I could honestly take on a serious relationship. It’s exciting, but at the same time…. there are no potential guys. Which is totally fine with me. When I do meet a man who meets my standards and desires, now, I’ll be ready for him.